Matthew 11.16-19 The yoke of discipleship

Music is at the heart of our church. Through song and stories our faith has been passed down from generation to generation. Music helps us to remember and at times helps us to forget. It can draw us in. And it can push us away. It can help us to form relationships and make new friends, or it can create generational gaps.

¹⁶ “But to what will I compare this generation? Those are loaded words aren’t they? My husband and I have had plenty of conversations about the eccentricities of our nieces and nephews. Millennials, Generation X, Y, Z, Alpha, Beta. Such weird people. How are they ever going to survive? By the grace of God. Just like you did when your parents and grandparents said the same thing about you.

I’m here today to be the bearer of bad news. The current generation and several generations before them do not feel welcome in your church. But, that’s not the bad news. The bad news is that Jesus told us why they wouldn’t feel welcome and we’ve never listened or tried to resolve the problem.

It is like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling to one another,

¹⁷ ‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance;

I admit I never did learn to dance to rap and while I enjoy a good K-drama, I don’t just leisurely listen to K-pop. I struggle to understand words sung in English let alone a foreign language and I like to sing along. It’s not that I don’t enjoy it from time to time but it isn’t my go-to.

When children play their music, most adults don’t dance. I’m sure your parents loved your music didn’t they?

One of the multitude of things I find interesting is that even when I attend a church claiming to use contemporary music, it’s generally Christian Pop from the 1990’s. More bad news. That’s 30 years ago. As a church, we fail to incorporate not just modern music into our churches that the last generation or two enjoy but we fail to incorporate secular music.

I’m not a music fanatic but I do know this. Music is art. It is the expression of emotion through song. Just because I don’t appreciate how you are expressing your emotions, I do appreciate that you are. Music is how a lot of people express themselves, either through their writing, their singing, or through what they choose to listen to.

    we wailed, and you did not mourn.’

Sure, a lot of music sounds like wailing to me but if I’m not willing to hear, I cannot mourn with you. By refusing to hear, by refusing to engage and dance, we do not hear other generations wailing without understanding their laments; we cannot mourn with them. I’m not sure if you’re aware of this but there is a whole section of songs of lament in the psalms. There’s also an entire Biblical book called Lamentations. We must hear our ancestors’ laments, and we must hear our children’s as well.

More bad news. It’s not enough that we don’t hear them. We persecute them for it. ¹⁸ “For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon’; ¹⁹ the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’

My mother was pregnant at 16. Do you think the church accepted her? My grandmother was divorced. Do you think the church accepted her? How many people have been turned away from the church because we did not hear their cries and instead chose to judge and ostracize them for their choices?

Their hair is too long. Their skirt is too short. Their makeup too dark. They have too many tattoos or too much jewelry. How many have we the church driven away from Christ because of our disapproval?

How many wails have we not heard and failed to mourn? The church has a history and it isn’t pretty. We’ve shunned young women for centuries for getting pregnant too young or because they weren’t wed. We’ve shunned women as adults for getting divorced, selling their bodies, being married too many times. We’ve ostracized those who don’t fit into our nice, neat categories.

What the church does not have a history of is asking why. Getting to know people. Building relationships to learn their struggles. Is there abuse, neglect, trauma, molestation, emotional degradation, loneliness or misunderstanding? We do not dance to their music because we don’t want to know the answer. We do not listen to their cries because we know if we did we would feel guilty for not doing something to help.

We fail to recognize what is important to those we claim we want to see in church.

Instead, we choose to tell them they’re too fat or too skinny. Too drunk or too uptight. Too loud or too shy. We see an outward behavior and fail to look beneath the mask, fail to listen to the lyrics or feel the emotion of their song, we… well we fail.

Wisdom is vindicated by her deeds. Wisdom is the ability to respond to the horrors of the world in a better way. It is not taught but it is learned. Wisdom is using past experiences to produce better outcomes in the future.

Wisdom is vindicated by her deeds not her words.

The church has failed because it produces all kinds of words. We’ve got lots of documents. Doctrine, social principles, resolutions, laws, rules, regulations, traditions. What we don’t have are a lot of actions.

We say we love our neighbor as we love ourselves but we do not live either loving our neighbor or showing compassion for ourselves.

As I was writing this sermon, a Paul McCartney song came to me.

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Lessons of faith, have been passed on generation to generation through song. Songs have the ability to withstand the test of time. Just look how many psalms are still read quoted today. Through thousands of years the raw emotions of the psalmist have been carried through time because when David played the flute… people danced.

And when the broken-hearted people
Living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be

For though they may be parted
There is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be

I am well aware the generation before the Beatles came along did not dance to this new-fangled cacophony. And when Lennon started wearing flowered shirts and bell-bottoms the resistance only grew stronger. An entire generation of hippies were not welcomed in the church because they were trying to do something different. The church didn’t want their music, their crazy radical love, their desire for peace, or their unconditional love and positive regard. They wanted conformity. They wanted them to be like them. Rather than letting them be, the people of the church wanted to remain stagnant.

But to what can I compare this generation?

Nearly every Vacation Bible School I have ever attended has been music and dancing. We sing songs that children love. And yet I can’t count the number of church services I’ve been to where people mumble rather than sing along. Stand still as statues rather than sway to a beat, in rhythm and motion as one body.

In no way do I think church should be a rock concert. Church isn’t just about having a good time and forgetting the next day. Church shouldn’t be boring or miserable either. Worship is a time of celebration with reverence. It is about learning to walk in the ways of Christ in a way that makes you hum along three days later. Church should be a reminder that the birds sing God’s song to us. Ever-changing, ever-evolving, but with something constant and true at its core. A desire to bring others closer to ourselves and to God.

When we judge others by their music or any other aspect about them. When we cast out their ideas, we cast them out as well.

And when the night is cloudy
There is still a light that shines on me
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be

I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be Let it be, yeah, let it be
Oh, there will be an answer, let it be

The answer is in the songs of the children, the songs of our ancestors, and the songs we sing. Different sounds, different rhythms, but the song doesn’t change. Let it be.

Most of what we judge others for. Most of the reason we try to exclude them. Let them be. Listen to them. Hear them. Dance with them. God is there and so is the longing to get closer. The innate desire to know God better in a place where they feel welcomed and heard. But wisdom is vindicated by her deeds. We can’t just say people are welcome, we have to show them they are.

We learn from the mistakes of our ancestors so we don’t repeat them. We tell their stories but we also hear the stories of our kids today. We give them places of honor and responsibility. We learn why they do what they do instead of judging them for doing it. We hear their wails and we mourn with them as God hears our cries and mourns with us.

I am thankful that each generation struggles to find similarities between themselves the next. That means we are moving as a society. God’s plan isn’t moving backwards, it’s moving forward. Figuring out how to move forward is the challenging part. Identifying ways that are more Christ-like and changing ways that are not. Letting some things be while joyfully letting some things change. Learning the heart of each new generation God creates is essential to the perpetuation of the church.

For each generation both the past and those to come we must learn to dance to their music. We must hear their wailing and mourn with them. We must both speak words of wisdom and vindicate her through our actions. We must be… the church.